Jul 6, 2017

Shakespeare's >Comedy of Errors<, Compressed for Efficiency in Anticipation of Annual July Trip to the Great River Shakespeare Festival in Winona, Minnesota


Shakespeare’s  Comedy or Errors

All original lines by William Shakespeare  

Compressed for reading by students of the New Salem Educational Initiative

before attendance at Great River Shakespeare Festival production, July 2017

                                                                                                       

Gary Marvin Davison, Ph. D.                                       

 

Director, New Salem Educational Initiative





From Comedy of Errors, Act I, Scene One              [A hall in the palace of Duke Solinus of Ephesus]


 Duke:                    Merchant of Syracusa, plead no more;

                                I am not impartial to infringe our laws.


                                It hath in solemn synods been decreed,


                                Both by the Syracusans and ourselves,

                                To admit no traffic to our adverse towns:

                                If any born at Ephesus be seen

                                At any Syracusan marts and fairs;

                                Again:  if any Syracusan born

                                Come to the bay of Ephesus, he dies,

                                Unless a thousand pounds be levied,

                                To quit the penalty and to ransom him.

                                Therefore thou art condem’d to die.

 

Aegeon:               Yet this my comfort:  when your

                                Words are done,

                                My woes end likewise with the evening sun.

 

Duke:                    Well, Syracusan, say in brief the cause 

                                Why thou departed’st from thy native home

                                And for what cause thou camest to Ephesus.

 

Aegeon:               In Syracusa was I born, and wed              

                                With her I lived in joy;  our wealth increased

By prosperous voyages I often made

To Epidamnum.

Following me, she had not been long

But she became a joyful mother

Of two goodly sons, the one so like the other

                                As could not be distinguished by their name.

That very hour a meaner woman was delivered

                                Of such a burden, male twins, both alike.

                                Those, for their parents were exceeding poor,

                                I bought and brought up to attend my sons

A league from Epidamnum had we sail’d,

                                Before the always wind-obeying deep

                                Gave any tragic instance of our harm.

                                But longer did we not retain much hope:

                                The heavens did convey unto our minds

                                A doubtful warrant of immediate death;

                                My wife the latter born fastened unto a

                                Small spare mast;  to him one of the twins

Was bound, whilst I like heedful of the

                                Other;  my wife and I fastened ourselves

                                At either end the mast.  We discovered

Two ships from far making amain to us,

Of Corinth that, Epidaurus this.

 

Duke:                    Nay, forward old man;  do not break

                                                off so.

 

Aegeon:               We encountered by a mighty rock;

Violently our ship splitted in the midst.

Her part was carried and taken up by

Fishermen of Corinth.  Another ship

Seized on us and homeward [to Epidaurus]

Did they bend their course.

                                               

Duke:                    Do me the favour to dilate in full what 

                                Hath befall’n of them and thee till now.                                              

 

Aegeon:               My youngest boy at eighteen years

                                Became inquisitive after his brother

                                And importuned me that his attendant,

                                Reft of his brother, might bear him

                                Company in the quest of him.

                                Laboured of a love to see whom I loved,

                                Five summers have I spent roaming the

Bounds of Asia, and, coasting homeward

came to Ephesus.

 

Duke:                    Hapless Aegeon, I’ll limit thee this day

To seek thy life by beneficial help.

Try to make up the sum and live;  if no,

Then thou art doom’d to die.

 From Comedy of Errors, Act I, Scene Two              [The Mart]
 

Enter Antipholus of Syracuse, Dromio of Syracuse, and First Merchant.

 Antipholus:                        Go, bear [this money] to the Centaur, where we
(of Syracuse)                     host, and stay there till I come to thee.

 

Dromio of Syracuse nods and exits.

 

Antipholus of Syracuse and First Merchant face each

other in conversation. After a while, First Merchant bids

Antipholus of Syracuse goodbye:

 

First Merchant:                 Sir, I commend you to your own content.             [Exits.]

 

Antipholus:                        I to the world am like a drop of water

(of Syracuse)                     that in the ocean seeks another drop,

                                                So I, to find a mother and brother.

 

Enter Dromio of Ephesus.

 

Antipholus:                        What now?  How chance thou art return’d so soon?

(of Syracuse)

 

Dromio:                               Return’d so soon? Rather approached too late:

(of Ephesus)                      The meat is cold because you are not home.

 

Antipholus:                        Where have you left the money that I gave you?

(of Syracuse)

 

Dromio:                               To pay the saddler for my mistress’ crupper?

(of Ephesus)                      The saddler had it, sir, I kept it not.

 

Antipholus:                        I am not in a sportive humour now:

(of Syracuse)                      Tell me now, and dally not, where is the money?

 

Dromio:                               I pray you, jest, sir, as you sit at dinner.

(of Ephesus)                      I from my mistress come to you in post.

 

Antipholus:                        Come, Dromio, come, these jests are out of season.

(of Syracuse)                     Where is the gold I gave in charge to thee?

 

Dromio:                               To me, sir?  Why you gave no gold to me.

(of Ephesus)                      My mistress and sister stays for you.

                                 

Antipholus:                        Now, as I am a Christian, answer me.

(of Syracuse)                     Where is the thousand marks you hadst of me?

 

Dromio:                               I have some marks of yours upon my pate,

(of Ephesus)                      Some of my mistress’ upon my shoulders,

                                                But not a thousand marks between you both.

 

Antipholus:                        Thy mistress’ marks?  What mistress, slave, hast thou?

(of Syracuse)                    

 

Dromio:                               Your worship’s wife, my mistress at the Phoenix.

(of Ephesus)

 

Antipholus:                        What, will you flout me thus unto my face,

(of Syracuse)                     being forbid?  There, take that, sir knave.

 

                                                                [Dromio exits, holding his head in pain.]

From Comedy of Errors, Act II, Scene One            [The house of Antipholus of Ephesus]

 

Enter Adrianna and Luciana.

                      

Adriana:                               Neither my husband nor the slave return’d.

 

Luciana:                               A man is master of his liberty. 

 

Adriana:                               Why should their liberty than ours be more?

 

Luciana:                               As much or more should ourselves complain.

                                                If thou live to see like right bereft,

                                                This fool-begg’d patience in thee will be left.

 

Enter Dromio of Ephesus.

 

Adriana:                               Is thy tardy master now at hand?

 

Dromio:                               Nay, he’s at two hands with me,

(of Ephesus)                      And that my two hands can witness.

 

Adriana:                               Go back, slave, or I will break thy pate across.

                                               

Dromio:                               And he will bless that cross with other beating:

Between the two of you, I shall have a holy head.

 

Exit Dromio.

                                                               

 

From Comedy of Errors, Act II, Scene Two            [A public place]

 

                                                                Enter Antipholus of Syracuse and Dromio of Syracuse.

 

Antipholus:                        How now, sir!  Is your merry humour altered?

(of Syracuse)                     You know no Centaur?  You received no gold?

                                               

Dromio:                               What answer, sir?  When spoke I such a word?

(of Syracuse)                    

 

Antipholus:                        Even now, even here, not half an hour since.

(of Syracuse)                    

                                               

Dromio:                               I did not see you since you sent me hence,

(of Syracuse)                     Home to the Centaur, with the gold you gave me.

 

Antipholus:                        Think’st thou I jest?  Hold, take thou that, and that.

(of Syracuse)                                                    

 

[Antipholus beats Dromio]

                                               

Enter Adriana and Luciana.

 

Adriana:                               Ay, ay, Antipholus, look strange and frown.

                                                How comes it now, my husband, o how comes it,

                                                That thou are thus estranged from thyself?

                                                Ah, do not tear away thyself from me!

 

Antipholus:                        Plead you to me, fair dame?  I know you not.

(of Syracuse)                     In Ephesus I am but two hours old.

 

Luciana:                               Fie, brother!  How the world is changed with you.

                                                She sent for you by Dromio home to dinner.

 

Antipholus:                        By Dromio? 

(of Syracuse)                    

 

Dromio:                               By me?  I never saw her till this time. 

(of Syracuse)                                                    

 

Antipholus:                        Villain, thou liest; for even her very words 

(of Syracuse)                     Did’st thou deliver to me on the mart.

 

Adriana:                               Come, my husband, I will fasten on this sleeve of thine. 

                                                               

 

Antipholus:                        What, was I married to her in my dream? 

(of Syracuse)                    

 

Adriana;                               Dromio, go bid the servants spread for dinner.

 

Dromio:                               This is a fairy land:  O spite of spites!  

(of Syracuse)                     I am transformed, master, am I not?

 

Antipholus:                        I think thou art in mind, and so am I.

(of Syracuse)                    

 

Adriana:                               Come, sir, to dinner.  Dromio, keep the gate.

                                                And let none enter, lest I break your pate.

 

[Exeunt]                                                             

                               

From Comedy of Errors, Act III, Scene One           [Before the House of Antipolus of Ephesus]

 

                                Enter Antipholus of Ephesus, Dromio of Ephesus, Angelo, and Balthazar.

 

Antipholus:                        But, soft, my door is locked.

(of Ephesus)                      Go bid them let us in.

 

Dromio:                               [Within]  Let him walk from whence he came. 

(of Syracuse)                                                    

 

Antipholus:                        What art thou that keepest me out from the house I owe?

(of Ephesus)                     

 

Dromio:                               [Within]  The porter for this time, sir, and my name is Dromio. 

(of Syracuse)                                                    

 

Dromio:                               O, villain! Thou hast stolen both my office and my name. 

(of Ephesus)                     

 

Luciana:                               [Within]  Let him knock till it ache!

(of Syracuse)                                                    

                               

Adriana:                               [Within]  Who is that at the door that keeps all this noise?

 

Antipholus:                        Are you there, wife?  You might have come before.

(of Ephesus)                     

 

Adriana:                               [Within]  Your wife, sir knave?  Go get you from the door.

 

Angelo:                                                Here is neither cheer, sir, nor welcome. 

We would fain have either.

 

Balthazar:                            In debating which was best, we shall part with neither.

 

Antipholus:                        [To Dromio of Ephesus] 

(of Ephesus)                      Go fetch me something:  I’ll break ope the gate.

 

Balthazar:                            Sir, be ruled by me:  Depart in patience,

And let us to the Tiger for dinner,

And about evening come yourself alone

To know the reason of this strange restraint.

 

Antipholus:                        You have prevail’d:  I will depart in quiet.

(of Ephesus)                      I know a wench of excellent discourse.

                                                To her will we to dinner.

                                               

                                                [To Angelo] 

 

                                                Get you home and fetch the chain.

Bring it, I pray you, to the Porpentine.

For if nothing but to spite my wife,

That chain I will bestow upon mine hostess there.

 

From Comedy of Errors, Act III, Scene Two           [Before the House of Antipolus of Ephesus]

 

Enter Luciana and Antipholus of Syracuse.

 

Luciana:                               And may it be that you have quite forgot

A husband’s office? 

 

Antipholus:                        Sweet mistress---   Are you a god?

(of Syracuse)                     Would you create me anew?

Transform me then, and to your powers I’ll yield.

But if I am I, then well I know

Your weeping sister is no wife of mine.

Far more, far more to you do I decline.

 

Luciana:                               What, are you mad that you do reasons so?

Gaze where you should, and that will clear your sight.

 

Antipholus:                        As good to wink, sweet love, as look on night.

(of Syracuse)                    

                                               

Luciana:                               Why call me love?  Call my sister so.

 

Antipholus:                        Call thyself sister, for thee will I love and with thee

(of Syracuse)                     lead my life.

 

Luciana:                               O, soft, sir, hold you still:

                                                I’ll fetch my sister, to get her good will.  

 

[Luciana exits;  enter Dromio of Syracuse.]

 

Antipholus:                        Why, how now, Dromio?  ---   Are you a god?

(of Syracuse)                     Where runnest thou so fast?

 

Dromio:                               Marry, sir, I am due to a woman;  one that claims me,

(of Syracuse)                     one that haunts me, one that will have me.

 

Antipholus:                        What’s her name?

(of Syracuse)                    

 

Dromio:                               Nell, sir.  This diviner laid claim to me;  called me Dromio;

(of Syracuse)                     swore I was assured to her;   told me what privy marks

I had about me, as, the mark of my shoulder, the mole

                                                In my neck, the great wart on my left arm, that I amazed

                                                ran from her as a witch.

 

Antipholus:                        Go hie thee presently, post to the road.

(of Syracuse)                     I will not harbour in this town tonight.

If any bark put forth, come to the mart,

Where I will walk till thou return to me.

If everyone knows us and we know none,

“Tis time, I think, to trudge, pack, and be gone.

 

[Enter Angelo with the chain.]

 

Angelo:                                                Master Antipholus,---

 

Antipholus:                        Aye, that’s my name.

(of Syracuse)

 

Angelo:                                                I know it well, sir:  lo, here is the chain.

 

Antipholus:                        What is your will that I should do with this?

(of Syracuse)

 

Angelo:                                                What please yourself, sir:  I have made it for you.

 

Antipholus:                        Made it for me, sir!  I bespoke it not.

(of Syracuse)

 

Angelo:                                                Not once, nor twice, but twenty times you have.

                                                Go home with it and please your wife withal;

                                                And soon at suppertime I’ll visit you

                                                And then receive my money for the chain.

 

[Angelo exits as Antipholus of Syracuse

exhibits a confused look on his face.]



From Comedy of Errors, Act IV, Scene One           [A public place]

 

Enter Second Merchant, Angelo, and an Officer.

 

Second Merchant:           You know since Pentecost the sum is due; 

Therefore make present satisfaction,

Or I’ll attach you by this officer.

 

Angelo:                                                Even just the sum that I owe to you

Is growing to me by Antipholus.

 

Enter Antipholus of Ephesus and Dromio of Ephesus.

 

Antipholus:                        Buy a rope’s end:  that I will bestow and bring it home to me

(of Ephesus)                      among my wife and her confederates.

                                               

Dromio of Ephesus exits.

 

Second Merchant:           The hour steals on;  I pray you sir, dispatch.

 

Angelo:                                                You hear how he importunes me;---  the chain!

 

Antipholus:                        Why, give it to my wife and fetch your money.

(of Ephesus)

 

Angelo:                                                Come, come, you know I gave it to you even now.

 

Antipholus:                        Fie, now you run this humour out of breath. 

(of Ephesus)                      Come, where’s the chain?  I pray you, let me see it.

.

Second Merchant:           My business cannot brook this dalliance.

                                                Good sir, say whether you will answer me or no:

                                                If not, I’ll leave him to this officer.

 

Antipholus:                        Answer you, what shall I answer you?

(of Ephesus)

 

Angelo:                                                The money that you owe me for the chain.

                                               

Antipholus:                        I owe you none till I receive the chain. 

(of Ephesus)     

.

Angelo:                                                You know that I gave it to you half an hour since.

                                               

Antipholus:                        You gave me none:  You wrong me much to say so.

(of Ephesus)     

 

Second Merchant:           Well, officer, arrest him at my suit.

 

Angelo:                                                Here is thy fee;  arrest him, officer.

 

Officer:                                                I do arrest you, sir:  You hear the suit.

 

Antipholus:                        I do obey thee till I give thee bail.

(of Ephesus)                      But, sirrah, you shall buy this sport as dear

                                                As all the metal in your shop shall answer.         

 

Enter Dromio of Syracuse, from the bay.

 

Dromio:                               Master, there is a bark of Epidamnum

(of Syracuse)                     That stays but till her owner comes aboard

                                                And then, sir, she bears away.

 

Antipholus:                        What ship of Epidamnum stays for me?

(of Ephesus)                     

 

Dromio:                               A ship you sent me to, to hire waftage.

(of Syracuse)                    

 

Antipholus:                        Thou drunken slave, I sent you to buy rope.

(of Ephesus)                     

 

Dromio:                               You sent me to the bay, sir, for a bark.

(of Syracuse)                    

 

Antipholus:                        I will debate this matter at more leisure

(of Ephesus)                      And teach your ears to list me with more heed.

To Adriana, villain, and hie thee straight.

Tell her, in the desk that’s covered o’er with

Turkish tapestry there is a purse of ducats

And that shall bail me:  Hie thee, slave, and be gone!

On officer, to prison till it come.

 

From Comedy of Errors, Act IV, Scene Two           [The house of Antipholus of Ephesus]

 

Enter Adriana and Luciana.

 

Adriana:                               Ah, Luciana, did he tempt you so?

 

Luciana:                               First he denied you had in him no right.

 

Adriana:                               My heart prays for him, though my tongue do curse.

 

Enter Dromio of Syracuse.

 

Adriana:                               Why, man, what is the matter?

 

Dromio:                               I do not know the matter:  He is arrested on the case.

(of Syracuse)                     Will you send him, mistress, redemption, the

money in his desk?

 

Adriana:                               Go fetch it, sister.

                                               

Exit Luciana.

 

                                                This I wonder at,

                                                That he, unknown to me, should be in debt.

 

Luciana returns with the purse.

 

                                                Go, Dromio;  there’s the money, bear it straight,

                                                And bring my master home immediately.

 

 
From Comedy of Errors, Act IV, Scene Three                       [A public place]

 

Enter Antipholus of Syracuse.

 

Antipholus:                        There’s not a man but do salute me as if

(of Syracuse)                     As if I were their well-acquainted friend.

 

Enter Dromio of Syracuse.

 

Dromio:                               Master, here is the gold that you sent me for.

(of Syracuse)                     What, have you got the picture of an old

Adam new apparelled?

 

Antipholus:                        What Adam dost thou mean?

(of Syracuse)    

 

Dromio:                               Not that Adam that kept the

(of Syracuse)                     Paradise, but that Adam that keeps the prison.

 

Antipholus:                        What, thou meanest an officer?

(of Syracuse)                     Well, sir, there rest in your foolery.

                                                Is there any ship that puts forth tonight?

 

Dromio:                               Why, sir, I brought you word an 

(of Syracuse)                     hour since that the bark Expedition put forth

tonight;   and then you were hindered by the

sergeant.  Here are the angels that you sent

for to deliver you.

                                 

Antipholus:                        The fellow is distract, and so am I.

(of Syracuse)                     Some blessed power deliver us from hence!

 

Enter a Courtesan.

 

Courtesan:                          Well met, master Antipholus.

                                                Is that the chain you promised me today?

 

Antipholus:                        Satan, avoid!   I charge thee, tempt me not.

(of Syracuse)                    

 

Dromio:                               Master, is this Mistress Satan?

(of Syracuse)                    

                                 

Antipholus:                        It is the Devil.

(of Syracuse)                    

 

Courtesan:                          You and your man are marvelous merry, sir.

                                                Give me the ring you had at dinner,

                                                Or, for my diamond, the chain you promised.

                                                And I’ll be gone, sir, and not trouble you.

 

Antipholus:                        Avaunt, witch!  Come, Dromio, let us go.

(of Syracuse)                    

 

Exeunt Antipholus of Syracuse with his rapier drawn, and Dromio of Syracuse.

 

Courtesan:                          Now, out of doubt, Antipholus is mad.

                                                Besides this present instance of his rage,

                                                Is a mad tale he told at dinner,

                                                Of his own doors being shut against his entrance.

                                                Belike his wife, acquainted with his fits,

                                                On purpose shut the doors against his way.

                                                My way is now to hie me home unto his house,

                                                And tell his wife that, being lunatic,

                                                He rush’d unto my house and took perforce

                                                My ring away.

From Comedy of Errors, Act IV, Scene Four                          [A street]

 

 

Enter Antipholus of Ephesus and the Officer.

 

Antipholus:                        Here comes my man;  I think he brings the money.

(of Ephesus)

 

Enter Dromio of Ephesus with a rope’s end.

 

Antipholus:                        How now, sir, have you what I sent for?  

(of Ephesus)

 

Dromio:                               Here’s that, I warrant you, will pay them all.

(of Ephesus)

 

Antipholus:                        But where’s the money?  

(of Ephesus)

 

Dromio:                               Why, sir, I gave the money for the rope.

(of Ephesus)

 

Antipholus:                        Five hundred ducats, villain, for a rope?

(of Ephesus)                      To what end did I bid thee hie thee home?

 

Dromio:                               To a rope’s end, sir;  and to that I am returned.

(of Ephesus)

 

Antipholus:                        And to that end, sir, I will welcome you.

(of Ephesus)                     

 

[Antipholus of Ephesus beats Dromio of Ephesus]

 

Antipholus:                        Come along, my wife is coming yonder.

(of Ephesus)

 

Enter Andriana, Luciana, the Courtesan, and Pinch.

 

Luciana:                               Alas, how fiery and sharp he looks!

                               

Courtesan:                          Mark how he trembles in his ecstasy.

 

Pinch:                                   Give me your hand, and let me feel your pulse.

 

Antipholus:                        There is my hand, and let it feel your ear.

(of Ephesus)                     

 

[Antipholus of Ephesus strikes Pinch.]

                                                               

Pinch:                                   I charge thee, Satan, housed within this man,

To yield possession to my holy prayers.

 

Antipholus:                        You, minion, you, are these your customers?

(of Ephesus)                      Did this companion with the saffron face

                                                revel and feast at my house today,

                                                Whilst upon me the guilty doors were shut

                                                And I denied to enter in my house?

 

Adriana:                               O husband, God knows you dined at home.

 

Antipholus:                        Dined at home!  Thou villain, what sayest thou?  

(of Ephesus)                     

 

Dromio:                               Sir, sooth to say, you did not dine at home.  

(of Ephesus)                     

 

Antipholus:                        Were not my doors lock’d up and I shut out?

(of Ephesus)                     

 

Dromio:                               Perdie, your doors were lock’d and you shut out.

(of Ephesus)                     

 

Antipholus:                        Thou hast suborn’d the goldsmith to arrest me.  

(of Ephesus)                     

 

Adriana:                               Alas, I sent money to redeem you,

By Dromio here, who came in haste for it.

 

Dromio:                               Money by me?  Master, not a rag of money.  

(of Ephesus)                     

 

Adriana:                               He came to me and I delivered it.

 

Luciana:                               And I am witness with her that she did.

 

Adriana:                               I did not, gentle husband, lock thee forth.

 

Dromio:                               And, gentle master, I received no gold.  

(of Ephesus)                      But I confess, sir, that we were lock’d out.                                                  

 

Antipholus:                        Thou art false in all

(of Ephesus)                      And art confederate with a damned pack

                                                To make an loathsome abject scorn of me.                         

 

Exeunt all but Andriana, Luciana, Officer, and Courtesan.

 

Adriana:                               Say, now, whose suit is he arrested at?                

 

Officer:                                                One Angelo, a goldsmith:  Do you know him?

 

Adriana:                               I know the man.  What is the sum he owes?                      

 

Officer:                                                Two hundred ducats.

 

Courtesan:                          When your husband all in rage today

                                                Came to my house and took away my ring---

                                                Straight after did I meet him with a chain.

 

Adriana:                               It may be so, but I did never see it.

                                                Come, gaoler, bring me where the goldsmith is:

                                                I long to know the truth hereof at large.                              

 

Enter Antipholus of Syracuse with his rapier drawn, and Dromio of Syracuse.

 

Luciana:                               God, for mercy, they are loose again.

 

Adriana:                               And come with naked swords,

Let’s call for more help to have them bound again.

 

Officer:                                                Away, they’ll kill us.



Exeunt all but Antipholus of Syracuse and Dromio of Syracuse.

 

 

Antipholus:                        I see witches are afraid of swords.

(of Syracuse)                     Come to the Centaur;  fetch our stuff from hence;

                                                I would not stay tonight for all the town. 

 

 

From Comedy of Errors, Act V, Scene One                            [A street before a priory.]

 

Enter Second Merchant and Angelo.

 

Angelo:                                                I am sorry, sir, that I have hindered you,

                                                But I protest he had the chain of me.

 

Second Merchant:           Speak softly:  yonder, as I think, he walks.

 

Enter Antipholus of Syracuse and Dromio of Syracuse.

 

Angelo:                                                This chain which now you wear so openly  

You had of me;  can you deny it?

 

Antipholus:                        I think I had;  I never did deny it.

(of Syracuse)

 

Second Merchant:           Yes, you did, sir, and foreswore it too.

                                                I defy thee for a villain.

 

Antipholus of Syracuse and Second Merchant draw.

 

Enter Adriana, Courtesan, and others.

 

Adriana:                               Hold, hurt him not, for God’s sake!  He is mad.

                                                Some get within him, take his sword away:

                                                Bind Dromio too, and bear them to my house.

 

Dromio:                               Run, master, run.  This is some priory.

(of Syracuse)                     In, or we are spoil’d!

 

Exeunt Antipholus of Syracuse and Dromio of Syracuse to Priory.

 

Enter the Lady Abbess.

 

Abbess:                                                Be quiet, people.  Wherefore are you going hither?

 

Adriana:                               To fetch my poor distracted husband hence.

Let us come in,that we may bind him fast

And bear him home for his recovery.

 

Abbess:                                                Be quiet and depart:  Thou shalt not have him.

 

Exit the Lady Abbess.

 

Luciana:                               Go complain unto the duke of this indignity.

 

Second Merchant:           Anon, I’m sure, the duke himself in person

                                                Comes this way to the melancholy vale,

                                                The place of death and sorry execution,

                                                Behind the ditches of the abbey here.

 

Abbess:                                                Upon what cause?

 

Second Merchant:           To see a reverend Syracusian merchant

Who put unlickily into this bay

Against the law and statues of this town,

Beheaded publicly for his offense.

 

Enter Duke, attended;  Aegeon, bareheaded; with the Headsman and other officers.

 

Adriana:                               Justice, most sacred duke, against the abbess.

                                                Antipholus my husband this ill day

                                                A most outrageous fit of madness took him;

                                                With his bondsman, all mad as he,---

                                                fled into this abbey, and here the abbess

                                                shuts the gates on us.

 

Duke:                                    Long since thy husband served me

In my wars, and to thee I engaged a prince’s word,

to do him all the grade and good I could.

Go, some of you, knock at the abbey gate

And bid the abbess come to me.

 

Enter Antipholus of Ephesus and Dromio of Ephesus.

 

Antipholus:                        Justice, most gracious duke, O

(of Ephesus)                      grant me justice!

 

 Aegeon:                              Unless the fear of death doth make me dote,

                                                I see my son Antipholus and Dromio.

 

Antipholus:                        Justice, sweet prince, against that woman there,

(of Ephesus)                      She to whom you gave to be my wife,

                                                That hath abused and dishonoured me.

                                                This day, great duke, she shut the doors upon me,

                                                While harlots did feed in my house.

 

Adriana:                               No, my good lord:  Myself, he, and my sister

                                                Today did dine together.

 

Luciana:                               She tells your highness simple truth.

 

Angelo:                                                O perjured woman!  They are both forsworn;

In this the madman justly chargeth them.

 

Antipholus:                        That goldsmith there could witness it,

(of Ephesus)                      for he was with me then;

                                                Who parted with a chain.

 

Duke:                                    Had he chain of you or no?

 

Angelo:                                                He had, my lord, and when he ran in here,

These people saw the chain around his neck.

 

Antipholus:                        I never came within these abbey-walls:

(of Ephesus)                      I never saw the chain, so help me Heaven!

 

Duke:                                    Why, what an intricate speech is this!

I think you have all drunk of Circe’s cup.

 

Dromio:                               Sir, he dined with her there, at the Porpentine.

(of Ephesus)

 

Courtesan:                          He did, and from my finger snatch’d that ring.

 

Antipholus:                        ‘Tis true, my liege;  this ring I had of her.

(of Ephesus)                     

 

Duke:                                    Saw’st thou him enter at the abbey here?

                               

Courtesan:                          As sure, my liege, as I do see your grace.

 

Duke:                                    Why, this is strange.  Go call the abbess hither.

I think you are all mated, or stark mad.

 

                                                                                Exit one to the abbess.

 

Aegeon:                               Most mighty duke, vouchsafe me speak a word:

                                                Haply I see a friend who will save my life.

                                                Is not your name, sir, call’d Antipholus,

                                                And is not that your bondman, Dromio?

 

Antipholus:                        I never saw you in my life till now.

(of Ephesus)                     

                                               

Aegeon:                               Dromio, nor thou?

 

Dromio:                               No, trust me sir, nor I.

(of Ephesus)

 

                                                Reenter Abbess, with Antipholus of Syracuse and Dromio of Syracuse.

 

Antipholus:                        Aegeon art thou not? Or else a ghost?

(of Syracuse)

 

Dromio:                               O, my old master, who hath bound him here?

(of Syracuse)

 

Abbess:                                                Whoever bound him, I will loose his bonds

And gain a husband by his liberty.

 

Aegeon:                               If I dream not, thou art Aemilia.

 

Abbess:                                                By men of Epidamnum he and I were taken up;

But by and by rude fishermen of Corinth

By force took Dromio and my son from them

And me they left with those of Epidamnum.

 

Duke:                                    Why, here begins his morning story right:

These two Anthipholuses, these two so alike,

And these two Dromios, one in semblance,---

These are the parents of these children,

Which accidentally are met together.

 

Antipholus:                        These ducats pawn I for my father here.

(of Ephesus)

 

Duke:                                   Thou shalt not need;  thy father has his life.

 

Courtesan:                          Sir, I must have that diamond from you.

 

Antipholus:                        Thou take it;  and much thanks for my good cheer.

(of Ephesus)

 

Abbess:                                                Renowned duke, vouchsafe to take the pains

                                                To go with us into the abbey here

                                                And hear at large discoursed our fortunes.

Thirty-three years have I gone in travail

                                                Of you, my sons;  and until this present hour

My heavy burthen never delivered.

The duke, my husband and my children both,

And you the calendars of their nativity,

Go to a gossips’ feast, and go with me,

After so long grief, such festivity!

 

Duke:                                    With all my heart;  I’ll gossip at this feast.

 

                                                Exeunt all but Antipholus of Syracuse, Antipholus of Ephsesus,

                                                Dromio of Syracuse, and Dromio of Ephesus.

 

Dromio:                               Master, shall I fetch your stuff from shipboard?

(of Syracuse)

 

Antipholus:                        Dromio, what stuff of mine hast thou embark’d?

(of Ephesus)

 

Antipholus:                        He speaks to me.  I am your master, Dromio.

(of Syracuse)                     Come, go with us;  we’ll look to that anon:

                                                Embrace your brother there;  rejoice with him.

 

                                                                Exeunt Antipholus of Syracuse and Antipholus of Ephsesus.

                                               

Dromio:                               Methinks you are my glass, and not my brother.

(of Ephesus)                      I see by you I am a sweet-faced youth.

                                                Will you walk in to see their gossiping?

 

Dromio:                               Not I , sir;  you are my elder.

(of Syracuse)                    

 

Dromio:                               That’s a question:  How shall we try it?

(of Ephesus)                     

 

Dromio:                               We’ll draw cuts for the senior:  Till then, head thou first.

(of Syracuse)                    

 

Dromio:                               Nay, then, thus:

(of Ephesus)                      We came into this world brother and brother;

                                                And now let’s go hand in hand, not one before

                                                the other.

 

Exeunt.

 

Finis.

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