Teaching the Poor Child from a Dysfunctional Family (Part III): The Need to Convey Unconditional Love and Enduring Commitment

The teacher of the child from a dysfunctional family of very low income must be absolutely dedicated to the task at hand, convinced that she or he is doing the most important work imaginable, embued with unbounded love, and ready to signal a commitment that will endure.

By no means are all families of low income also described by the term, "dysfunctional." Many families of challenged economic circumstances struggle heroically to live up to middle class standards of behavior and attitude. Legions of poor parents want for their children the education and life opportunities that they themselves never had. Such parents tend to be very grateful for the concern expressed by other loving adults--- teachers, pastors, godparents, and any others in a position to show that they care--- who provide additional emotional support for their children as they seek their way in a world that can be very tough.

Nor are middle class and upper middle class families necessarily functional. Many suburban children endure familial situations in which their parents are more focused on career, social life, and self-promotion than they are the interests of the human beings that they brought into the world. We observe all too many young people of dysfunctional families whose economic means are substantial but whose other traits are described by divorce, addiction, and various forms of physical and emotional abuse.

When poverty and dysfunction combine, though, to bear down upon the life of a child the results can be particularly brutal, and the teacher of such a child must understand the importance of the task at hand. Each encounter that such a teacher has with such a child is weighty, even when the interaction seems to be routine and mundane. It is all the more important for a teacher of the poor child from a dysfunctional family to have abundant subject area knowledge and strong pedogogical technique. For the child of an impoverished and dysfunctional family deserves the education that only a real teacher of these descriptors can provide, and beyond the gravity of the need for educatonal opportunity also needs the ongoing presence of a dedicated, loving, and caring adult.

Such a teacher must be absolutely dedicated to the task at hand. She or he must appear at school or other academic setting each day prepared and ready to give everything that the real teacher possesses in the way of knowledge and pedagogical skill. Such a teacher proceeds with total faith that all children are intelligent, can master challenging content, and must have a solid knowledge base to show for thirteen years of K-12 education.

The teacher of the child of challenged economic circumstances must be firmly convinced that she or he is doing the most important work imaginable. Because nothing moves us closer to a true democracy than providing a quality education to a child whose family has been caught in the cycle of proverty for generations. Under these cirucmstances, mastery of the essential sequence of mathematics becomes a revolutionary act, knowledge of history and geography becomes a powerful means for moving through a previously unknown world, acquisition of scientific information becomes insight into the very heart of existence, and appreciatation for literature and art becomes an avenue for personal expression and human understanding. Through a quality education a child of poverty and familial dysfunction breaks through previous impediments of historical origin and contemporary circumstance.

Such a teacher must have unbounded love expressed unconditionally. That teacher will know that children facing one tumultuous situation after another without the steady presence of a loving adult is looking for love, even when that child is not engaged in very loving behavior. If such a child, for example, should burst out crying and say, "I hate you!," the reply from the loving and caring teacher must be, "Well, I love you, and I always will." Such a statement may have no discernible effect on the spot, but repeated over time will transform a life and turn disturbing irascibility into unremitting cooperation. All children crave love. When love is given consistently, under all circumstances, even when proper behavior lags and consequences must be extended, a deep impression is made, and a life is transformed. The power of such a teacher is just that great and the responsibility is just that daunting.

The teacher of the child from an impoverished and dysfunctional family must provide the enduring commitment that may be lacking in the life of a child shuffled from this relative to that relative, from this foster parent to that foster parent, from one group home to another. A new student of mine in the New Salem Educational Initiative will usually at some point ask, "When does this progam end?" "Never," I reply. "What do you mean?," will be the reply in turn. "I mean this program goes on forever." "You mean that you'll still be looking in on me even after high school?" "Oh, certainly," I say, "I work with college students, too, and I definitely want to see all of the wonderful things that you are going to do."

Teachers in conventional classroom situations many not have this opportunity to signal that they can provide ongoing academic instruction year after year as I do. But they can signal a willingness to assist as possible should the student come back to them with a scholastic inquiry, and they can certainly convey an enduring concern.

All people need to experience the power of deep and unconditional love that should come first and best from a caring parent. When such a parent is lacking, another adult must step in to provide the love that is missing. The true teacher has an abundant opportunity to take that step, and in so doing she or he sends into the world a young person whose successes, born of the security that unconditional love instills, have transformative impact on that one life and many others.