Analysis of “Acknowledgments,” “Abstract,” and
Chapter I,
“Background of the Problem”
Article #1 of my analysis begins with the
“Acknowledgments” and the “Abstract” at the beginning of the Sayles-Adams
dissertation, then proceeds to Chapter I, “Background of the Problem,” in which
the author begins a review of research literature, with emphasis on the
importance of the African American female leader to the educational experience
of Black students.
The following are my own analytically critical
comments.
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Gary
Marvin Davison Comments
Acknowledgments
Page iii
A comma is not the appropriate
punctuation for placement between two independent clauses.
Hence, the appropriate
punctuation for the sentence, “I would also like to acknowledge my immense
support network of mentors, sister-friends, and colleagues that encouraged me
to persevere and achieve this lifelong goal, you are my village,” would place
either a semicolon or a colon between the words, “goal” and “you,” as
follows >>>>>
I would also like to
acknowledge my immense support network of mentors, sister-friends, and
colleagues that encouraged me to persevere and achieve this lifelong goal; you are my village.
or
I would also like to
acknowledge my immense support network of mentors, sister-friends, and
colleagues that encouraged me to persevere and achieve this lifelong goal: You are my village.
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Abstract
Gary
Marvin Davison Comments
The punctuation
after the word, “confirmed,” in the sentence, “The major themes that emerged
were categorized as barriers that confirmed; different expectations, double
standards, questioning authority, acts of resistance, aggression, and being
treated as clean-up women,” is incorrect, and makes unclear the meaning.
Either the
phrase, “barriers that confirmed,” is meant to be parallel with those that
follow (“double standards, questioning authority, acts of resistance,
aggression, and being treated as clean-up women”), and should be succeeded by a
comma (“The major themes that emerged were categorized as barriers that
confirmed, different expectations, double standards, questioning authority,
acts of resistance, aggression, and being treated as clean-up women.”),
or
the phrase,
“barriers that confirm,” describe those phrases that follow and should be
succeeded by a colon (“The major themes that emerged were categorized as
barriers that confirmed: different
expectations, double standards, questioning authority, acts of resistance,
aggression, and being treated as clean-up women.”)
The word,
“their,” renders the phrase in which it occurs not parallel with the other
phrases in this sentence. This sentence,
therefore, should read as follows:
“An additional
theme that described coping strategies utilized to navigate racism and sexism
in the workplace included self-advocacy and being authentic, spirituality,
support networks, and concealment of emotions.”
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Gary
Marvin Davison Comments
Page 3
Consider this sentence:
“The Minnesota Comprehensive
Assessment (MCA-III) is an additional data point in the achievement gap.
The Minnesota
Comprehensive Assessment (MCA-III) is not a data point but rather an
assessment, the results of which are indicative of the achievement gap. Hence the sentence would better read as
follows:
Results of each year’s
administration of the Minnesota Comprehensive Assessment (MCA-III) provide
indication in a particular state of the nationwide achievement gap phenomenon.
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Gary
Marvin Davison Comments
Page 5
If Sayles-Adams had provided
any evidence at all that the five African American women principals whom she
studied had demonstrated the effective leadership qualities for affecting
student learning, (“(a) shaping a vision of academic success for all students;
(b) creating a climate hospitable to education; (c) cultivating leadership in
others; (d) improving instruction; and (e) managing people, data and processes
to foster school improvement,” she would have made a significant contribution
to the subject discussed. But nowhere
does Sayles-Adams cite even any claims on the part of the principals whom she
interviews to have these precise leadership qualities; much less does Sayles-Adams provide any
evidence that the principals interviewed actually manifested these qualities in
their leadership roles.
And when Sayles-Adams cites
Gordon and Doherty as suggesting that Gooden and O’Doherty suggested that
“principal preparation programs must prepare current and future school leaders
for the changing educational environments and prepare principals to create the
conditions needed for students to receive an equitable and excellent education”
(2015, p. 226), she is illustrating the very real problem of principal
preparation. But this statement would
imply that the five principals interviewed, and Sayles-Adams herself, underwent
inadequate training as principals and as public education administration
officials in general that weighed against their own effectiveness.
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Gary Marvin Davison Comments
Page 6
To be relevant to the
dissertation under discussion, Sayles-Adams would need to establish that the
five African American women principals interviewed ”have demonstrated an “overall commitment to
equity and social justice, academic success, creating an environment of care,
and being depicted as culturally responsive servant leaders,” and to have an
actual impact on student academic progress and personal well-being, the
Sayles-Adams interviewees would have to demonstrate success in establishing “equity
and social justice, academic success, creating an environment of care, and
being depicted as culturally responsive servant leaders.”
The Sayles-Adams interviewees
objectively demonstrate neither their commitment nor their success in bringing
about student academic achievement or personal well-being.
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Gary
Marvin Davison Comments
Pages 7-8
The Sayles-Adams interviewees
objectively demonstrate neither their commitment nor their success in bringing
about student academic achievement or personal well-being.
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Gary
Marvin Davison Comments
Page 9
The Sayles-Adams dissertation
contributes nothing that is unexpected or new by comparison with other
research.
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Gary
Marvin Davison Comments
Pages 9-10
The Sayles-Adams dissertation
contributes nothing to what we already know about the experience of people to
whom the theories of intersectionality, Black feminist thought, and Critical
Race Theory are pertinent.
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Gary
Marvin Davison Comments
Page 11
The sentence, “The term Black
and African American will be used interchangeably in this study, realizing
there is a difference,” is problematic in terms of English usage. The phrase, “realizing there is a
difference,” has no antecedent subject, so that a better rendering would be as
follows:
“Although some authors
differentiate between the terms, ‘Black’ and ‘African American,’ as to precise
meaning, the terms are similar as to the group of reference and will be used
interchangeably in this dissertation.”
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Gary
Marvin Davison Comments
Page 11
Sayles-Adams’s rendering of Critical
Race Theory is imprecise.
Critical Race Theory (CRT) is
distinguished from other frameworks for discussing racism, discrimination, and
marginalization in that CRT theorists assert that racism, discrimination, and
marginalization are embedded on all governmental, social, and economic
institutions in the United States.
“Storytelling/counter-storytelling
and naming one’s reality” are not part of the definition of CRT, but rather
proposed ways to counter the narratives of those who control institutions.
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