Article #1 of my analysis begins with the “Acknowledgments” and the “Abstract” at the beginning of the Sayles-Adams dissertation, then proceeds to Chapter I, “Background of the Problem,” in which the author begins a review of research literature, with emphasis on the importance of the African American female leader to the educational experience of Black students.
The
following are my own analytically critical comments.
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Gary Marvin Davison Comments
Acknowledgments
Page iii
A comma is not the appropriate punctuation for placement between two independent clauses.
Hence, the appropriate punctuation for the sentence, “I would also like to acknowledge my immense support network of mentors, sister-friends, and colleagues that encouraged me to persevere and achieve this lifelong goal, you are my village,” would place either a semicolon or a colon between the words, “goal” and “you,” as follows >>>>>
I would also like to acknowledge my immense support network of mentors, sister-friends, and colleagues that encouraged me to persevere and achieve this lifelong goal; you are my village.
or
I would also like to
acknowledge my immense support network of mentors, sister-friends, and
colleagues that encouraged me to persevere and achieve this lifelong goal: You are my village.
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Abstract
Gary Marvin Davison Comments
The
punctuation after the word, “confirmed,” in the sentence, “The major themes
that emerged were categorized as barriers that confirmed; different
expectations, double standards, questioning authority, acts of resistance,
aggression, and being treated as clean-up women,” is incorrect, and makes
unclear the meaning.
Either the phrase, “barriers that confirmed,” is meant to be parallel with those that follow (“double standards, questioning authority, acts of resistance, aggression, and being treated as clean-up women”), and should be succeeded by a comma (“The major themes that emerged were categorized as barriers that confirmed, different expectations, double standards, questioning authority, acts of resistance, aggression, and being treated as clean-up women.”),
or
the phrase,
“barriers that confirm,” describe those phrases that follow and should be
succeeded by a colon (“The major themes that emerged were categorized as
barriers that confirmed: different
expectations, double standards, questioning authority, acts of resistance,
aggression, and being treated as clean-up women.”)
The word,
“their,” renders the phrase in which it occurs not parallel with the other
phrases in this sentence. This sentence,
therefore, should read as follows:
“An additional
theme that described coping strategies utilized to navigate racism and sexism
in the workplace included self-advocacy and being authentic, spirituality,
support networks, and concealment of emotions.”
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Chapter I, Background of the Problem
Gary Marvin Davison Comments
Page 3
Consider this sentence:
“The Minnesota Comprehensive
Assessment (MCA-III) is an additional data point in the achievement gap.
The Minnesota Comprehensive Assessment (MCA-III) is not a data point but rather an assessment, the results of which are indicative of the achievement gap. Hence the sentence would better read as follows:
Results of each year’s administration of the Minnesota Comprehensive Assessment (MCA-III) provide indication in a particular state of the nationwide achievement gap phenomenon.
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Gary Marvin Davison
Comments
Page 5
If Sayles-Adams had provided any evidence at all that the
five African American women principals whom she studied had demonstrated the
effective leadership qualities for affecting student learning, (“(a) shaping a
vision of academic success for all students; (b) creating a climate hospitable
to education; (c) cultivating leadership in others; (d) improving instruction;
and (e) managing people, data and processes to foster school improvement,” she
would have made a significant contribution to the subject discussed. But nowhere does Sayles-Adams cite even any
claims on the part of the principals whom she interviews to have these precise
leadership qualities; much less does
Sayles-Adams provide any evidence that the principals interviewed actually
manifested these qualities in their leadership roles.
And when Sayles-Adams cites Gordon and Doherty as
suggesting that “principal preparation
programs must prepare current and future school leaders for the changing educational
environments and prepare principals to create the conditions needed for
students to receive an equitable and excellent education” (2015, p. 226), she
is illustrating the very real problem of principal preparation. But this statement would imply that the five
principals interviewed, and Sayles-Adams herself, underwent inadequate training
as principals and as public education administration officials in general that
weighed against their own effectiveness.
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Gary Marvin Davison
Comments
Page 6
To be relevant to the dissertation under discussion,
Sayles-Adams would need to establish that the five African American women principals
interviewed ”have demonstrated an “overall
commitment to equity and social justice, academic success, creating an
environment of care, and being depicted as culturally responsive servant
leaders,” and to have an actual impact on student academic progress and
personal well-being, the Sayles-Adams interviewees would have to demonstrate
success in establishing “equity and social justice, academic success, creating
an environment of care, and being depicted as culturally responsive servant
leaders.”
The Sayles-Adams interviewees objectively demonstrate neither their commitment nor their success in bringing about student academic achievement or personal well-being.
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Gary Marvin Davison Comments
Pages 7-8
The Sayles-Adams interviewees
objectively demonstrate neither their commitment nor their success in bringing
about student academic achievement or personal well-being.
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Gary Marvin Davison Comments
Page 9
The Sayles-Adams dissertation
contributes nothing that is unexpected or new by comparison with other
research.
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Gary Marvin Davison Comments
Pages 9-10
The Sayles-Adams dissertation
contributes nothing to what we already know about the experience of people to
whom the theories of intersectionality, Black feminist thought, and Critical
Race Theory are pertinent.
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Gary Marvin Davison Comments
Page 11
The sentence, “The term Black
and African American will be used interchangeably in this study, realizing
there is a difference,” is problematic in terms of English usage. The phrase, “realizing there is a
difference,” has no antecedent subject, so that a better rendering would be as
follows:
“Although some authors
differentiate between the terms, ‘Black’ and ‘African American,’ as to precise
meaning, the terms are similar as to the group of reference and will be used
interchangeably in this dissertation.”
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Gary Marvin Davison Comments
Page 11
Sayles-Adams’s rendering of Critical Race Theory is imprecise.
Critical Race Theory (CRT) is distinguished from other frameworks for discussing racism, discrimination, and marginalization in that CRT theorists assert that racism, discrimination, and marginalization are embedded in all governmental, social, and economic institutions in the United States.
“Storytelling/counter-storytelling and naming one’s reality” are not part of the definition of CRT, but rather proposed ways to counter the narratives of those who control institutions.
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